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  • Writer's pictureCatherine Smart

Ruthless Re-imaginings: A Dramatic Interpretation of my Children as Macbeth’s Witches

Updated: Aug 12, 2021



A basement place, a Thursday after school.

Fluorescent lights flicker. Enter THREE TEENAGERS with bags of chips, sodas, and a large jar of Tostitos nacho cheese.


“I must become a borrower of the night, For a dark hour or twain.” (Macbeth, Act III, Scene I)


“Double, double, toil and trouble; Hot queso burn, and on the brand new carpet bubble.” (Macbeth-ish, Act IV, Scene I)

FIRST TEENAGER (OLDEST SON): When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain? But sooth, let it be after I hit the gym.  I wanteth to make gains, and behold! Mine biceps, they are most wondrous. What thinketh thou: needeth I more carbs? Nay, protein’s the thing! (checks his reflection on the TV screen)

SECOND TEENAGER (YOUNGEST SON): (throws self on couch, opens first bag of chips) When the hurly-burly’s done, When the football game’s lost and won.

THIRD TEENAGER (RANDOM COCONSPIRATOR TEENAGE FRIEND): (plops on couch next to Second Teenager and opens nacho cheese): That will be ere the set of sun. It must that I be home by 6:30. My sister hath dance practice and mine parents are makething me watch mine youngest brother. 

FIRST TEENAGER: (flexes one arm, then the other) Ah, I remember well the days when *I* had to babysitteth mine younger brother. Now I has’t more time for important matters.


SECOND TEENAGER: Yeah, like plucking upon thine guitar. Ah, but that clatter vexes me. Also bruh, getteth thy stuff out of my chamber and putteth on a shirt.  Thy armpit hair annoyeth me and thy biceps are still tiny.

FIRST TEENAGER: Thou art a doofus. And thou dost nothing but sleep, anyways. So thou shouldst just shut thine mouth.

SECOND TEENAGER:  Truth, I am at each waking moment not rested. ‘Tis the new Xbox game, I admit. It is so full of thrilling turns, I cannot help myself from playing it. Truly, it robs me of sleep, so I must catch my winks in history class. Thou understandeth, this I know.

FIRST TEENAGER: Indeed. Where the place? For the game, I mean.

SECOND TEENAGER: Upon the football heath, behind the middle school. 


“Come, seeing night, Scarf up the tender eye of pitiful day” (with apologies to Macbeth, Act III, Scene III)

THIRD TEENAGER: There to meet with the team from across the village. They are most skilled, I hear. 

FIRST TEENAGER: That is lit, I say! The middle school doth have the best turf. Fear not, our team shall carry the day! I know many a member of this fine squad, and they are beasts. I have seen one upon the Channel of YouTube. He runneth quite a fast :40.

(realizes something)

Methinks my lady friend will be there! She helpeth me in math. She is also a maiden most fair.

SECOND AND THIRD TEENAGERS: (fall to pieces laughing) AAAAHAAAHAHAHA! Thou hast a lady friend!!!!! Dost she even know thou existeth?

FIRST TEENAGER: Shutteth up. And quit makething such a mess. Mom wilt be super mad. You knoweth how she getteth when the basement is a pigsty.

FIRST AND SECOND TEENAGERS: (look at each other and burst out laughing).

SECOND TEENAGER: I knoweth, right? But ’tis such merry pleasure to annoy our mother.


FIRST TEENAGER: ‘Tis true. It is indeed one of mine favorite hobbies. She doth respond so energetically to our foibles! Let us strew this food around the room for her to find. ‘Twill be most amusing!

SECOND TEENAGER: Forsooth! And let us leave our homework undone! That will kindle a fire in her heart that will not soon be extinguished. 

FIRST TEENAGER: Huzzah! Her anguish will be all the larger, for we both have big tests on the morrow.

(phone buzzes. Checks his Snap. Hastily texts back.) (aside, to phone ) I come, fellow friends! Depart not for the Bell of Taco without me! Privy, I must but first feed my chariot, for mine gas tank runs dry and our mother won’t payeth for fuel.

SECOND TEENAGER: (phone chimes musically. Answers. Giggles) ‘Tis Joey, he Facetimeth me! With a pizza box upon his head! Ah, but he amuses. Just as he does in the halls of our learning academy. He doth annoy the lectern so!

FIRST TEENAGER: (snorts derisively) THEE doth annoy the lectern as well! Was it not but a fortnight ago that thee annoyed that lady so much that she hath sent thee to the principal? Thou art totally going to get detention for thy trouble. 

THIRD TEENAGER: (laughs)  HA, Second Teenager, thou art awesome. And thou art so gonna get in trouble when thy mother findeth out!


SECOND TEENAGER: Tell her not, thou moron! Or I’ll telleth your mom who broketh the window of thine garage. 

THIRD TEENAGER: (shruggeth) Whatevs. 

FIRST TEENAGER: Okay, breaketh it up, thee freshmen. Thee all art both annoying. I needeth to split. Mine peeps desire to know whither I am. Deuces, thou nerds!

THIRD TEENAGER: Anon. My father calleth. Hey, loanst thou me thine phone charger? My battery is at 2%.

ALL: Fair is foul, and foul is fair, Hover through the fog and filthy air.

SECOND TEENAGER: (makes face, gags) Alas, who passethed gas? Seriously, thou art nasty! 



So foul and fair a pair of kids I have not seen.

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